United Away

Our visits to Old Trafford are usually met with a gut feeling of trepidation and the faint aroma of excrement. I don't need to explain how long it's been since we've won there as it gets mentioned often enough but lets just say it's been a long while since we emerged victorious.

However this weekend sees us travelling to Manchester in great form having scratched our eleven year Arse itch and followed that up with a battering of Chelsea in our back yard. We are the form team in the league and that shows with the confidence positively oozing out of the players and evident in our play. More reasons to be cheerful is the return of Sarge and Charlie from suspension and injury whilst Azza blud may hopefully get amongst the subs.

United on the other hand haven't been in the best of form as they continue to stutter with their reliance on a half-injured Rooney. Regardless the events of last week still sees them challenging for the title race. Although they make look weaker than the usual force, beating United at Old Trafford is still a task of Herculean proportions. The crowd at White Hart Lane have been nothing short of extraordinary in our last two games and without a doubt every fan in the stadium contributed to the last two results however can this team perform to the same standard away from home without such immense support.

One of the most pressing questions is do you break up a winning team? With the return of Wilson from suspension to fit him into the team would mean to break up the partnership of Hudd and Luka. Palacios should be considered too valuable a commodity to consider leaving on the bench so he has to start which will switch Luka to the left. Although Luka has performed admirably in the middle, away from home the bite and aggression of a fit, rested, yellow free Sarge will avoid Fletcher and co. taking over the midfield battle. Harry just needs to put on his best Mr Burns accent and, 'release the hound'.

By shifting Moddle to the left would see Baler moving to left back which will make it harder for G Nev and Valencia to double mark him. Rather predictably the 'Bale to United' rumours begin in earnest coincidentally just before we play them. I seem to vaguely remember a similar rumour about Moddle this time last year too. It amazes me that the media have managed to conjure this up. United has an ageing, dynamic, Welsh left winger. We have a young, dynamic, Welsh left sided player... How do they come up with this stuff, you must need maaad skills to be a journalist. Hopefully we will get to see Bale, Bale, Bale tear Neville a new arsehole and make the £20million quoted sound ridiculous.

Every Spurs fan (myself very much included) must have been unbearable to be around for any of our rivals and for this run of form to continue would most likely send us all into a state of unbearable smugness. The difference between this and previous years is the belief that we can go and get a result. Three points would send us into raptures but a point would be just as respectable. Realistically we have to look to get something out of this game. If we do then we are well on our way to earning ourselves that fourth spot.

Score draw from me and the mongs from down the road to beat City.

COYS!

London Derbies...Pah

Crikey

I thought our season was supposed to be over after meekly bowing out of the FA Cup semi final. Many laughed at us crashing out to penniless Pompey, City were banging them in with reckless abandon and our CL hopes had all but been written off.

Well how you like us now, bitch?

My arms have gone from pasty white to a patchy red following the repeated arm pinching that has occurred this week. Although we were always going to be capable of getting points against our two dearest London rivals, performances against Sunderland and Portsmouth never really had me truly believing we could.

First we faced an Arsenal team looking to remain in the title race. In my preview I asked that every player put their abject semi final behind them and put in the kind of performance they were capable of and boy did they deliver.

Arsene Wenger's team were outdone by an epic team performance where his side had no answer to the commitment and desire on show by Tottenham. An evening in which every player turned up and put 110%, nay 210% into it. We wanted it badly as an organised lilywhite unit, unbreakable in both physical and spiritual presence.

And when the legs were tiring from such overexertion one Brazilian stood firm to ensure the job was done. Three world class game winning saves saw us over the finish line. His response to proceedings, ‘I’m just doing my job’. Heroic. Gomes, here is my missus, do what you will.

The following game saw Chelsea come to take on the gauntlet of White Hart Lane. A tangible sense of confidence and belief had swept over N17 and it had the Blues spooked. Spurs picked up where they left and went for the jugular from the off. Disciplined in defence and incisive in attack it was a role reversal of what you would expect from the teams on show.

Numerous breakaways saw plenty of reckless challenges from Chelsea. They got away with a Terry foul on Defoe and a Bale run saw Mikel get away without a penalty but the resulting corner led to them finally being punished. The initial cross was poor however upon the return Bentley nicked in a wicked looking ball. An awkward bounce saw it hit Terry’s arm and a penalty was duly given. Defoe stepped up and faced his penalty demons of this season and in one ferocious strike sent Cech the wrong way and sent us on our way.

In central midfield, Huddles and Moddles mixed impressive work rate with measured tenacity and strangled Chelsea’s creative juices. Although outnumbered they got stuck in with the dirty work and matched Lampard, Deco, Mikel and later, Ballack. Also when they did find themselves with a little time on the ball they released it intelligently and effectively to set off Tottenham on another roam forward.

The usual destination of any pass was aimed towards our left wing to where the boy Bale was irrepressible. He had the measure of Ferreira in the first half where he literally ‘Boulahrouzed’ him. Whether the ball was in the air or on the turf he beat the right back. Our second came from where he first beat Ferreira for pace, then beat him with a bit of skill before putting a perfect right footed shot into the near post. Two goals in two games for the monkey faced beauty is the sort of return his form has merited. Platitudes are fast running out for the Welshman and I swooned at his heart celebration. Bless his little cottons.

Again the commitment shown by all in lilywhite was exemplary. Dawson put in another supreme display of no nonsense defending in front of Cappelo. Questions need to be asked if the Italian fails to take him to South Africa. Every high ball was headed, every loose pass gobbled up and every block met effortlessly. Didier Drogba was so snug in Daws pocket for the whole game he ended up having a tantrum like a toddler in a pushchair. Is there a more beautiful sight than when Chelsea self destruct?

On the other side, Dawson’s counterpart was also having a bit of a paddy. After escaping a booking in the first half John Terry received two in double quick time in the second. The first was a hack from behind on Pav the other when Bale was again causing mischief. His blind defiance and choice words to Bale after receiving the red epitomises the scumbag for who he truly is. A swell of pride rushed over me when Bale smiled in the face of his childish taunts. Again I ask, is there a more beautiful sight than when Chelsea self destruct?

Up front was the sort of performance you want to see from Pav. The Russians tireless, thankless tracking back was duly recognised and he should be applauded for the effort he put in. However his suspect finishing was the only dark cloud of his game. He should have had a hat trick and made the scoreline more attractive and by his face you tell that he knew that too. Hopefully he’s just storing those goals for the rest of the season.

Again another performance where discipline and organisation were the foundations for an exceptional game. This week has seen us drag ourselves back in contention for fourth spot and credit must go to Harry for getting this reaction from his squad. I could wax lyrical about every player and it’s the motivational and man management skills of the manager which have achieved this.

United and ourselves have done each other huge favours this weekend and next weekend see’s us taking on the red half of Manchester. We could not be in better form to face them at the moment and with us having a full weeks rest and Azza’s potential return who could write us off. Would it be wishful thinking?

Happy St. Hotspurs Day

Too hungover even to comprehend writing about yesterdays game yet.

In the meantime, enjoy.

NLD - No Let Down

Our last two fixtures have been duds. Lacklustre performances in which we got exactly what we deserved. Fuck all. Dry ’em, move on and put it down to a small blip in what has been an otherwise very enjoyable season.

However any repeat of those types of performances against the old enemy will be completely unacceptable.

With so much riding on this game you would imagine that it wouldn’t be possible for any player not to be fired up for it big time. With Arsenal still in the race for the title and us needing to hold onto City’s money lined coat-tails only serves to add extra weight to the game. That’s even before uttering the name of Judas in disgust. So in short, this is it. No excuses, we have to turn up.

We have it all to do though. Arsenal will want a quick response to the footballing lesson they received at the hands of Barca. They have had a whole week to rest, recover and prepare. They will also be buoyed by United’s weekend result and the news of Van Persie’s possible return. We, on the other hand, have played a debilitating, soul destroying two hours of football at the weekend with a half fit team, have lost our midfield enforcer to suspension and lost ground, and goal difference, to City in the league. Footballing God’s most certainly be damned.

Both teams are suffering with injuries. I’m finding it’s nigh on impossible to judge what potential line ups and tactics Harry’s got in mind. I could go on all day and speculate as to what the master plan could be however I’ll leave that in the hands of the manager. It will only end up depressing me with the lack of options we currently have at our disposal. Kaboul in centre midfield anyone? *shudder*

Still, nothing fires up the spirits like an evening fixture against our friends from Woolwich.

To give credit where it’s due, Arsenal have had a very good season. After being written off numerous times they have managed to continue a challenge for the title. It goes without saying I despise the club however my hatred for their players has mellowed a little. Before the names of Keown, Viera, Pires, Lehmann, Ljungburg, Henry, Wiltord etc would have me foaming at the mouth but the likes of Nasri, Sagna, Diaby or Vermaelen don’t. Even Bendtner is nothing if not entertainingly delusional.

Regardless one name on the team sheet will always make one feel giddy with anger is the Judas one. Enough is going to be made about his return and I look forward to the faithful making his sorry life miserable for ninety minutes. I try to be as fair and relatively balanced when it comes to football however I cannot see beyond Solzeer for the Judas scumbag he is.

Whoever Harry picks they need to be on it. To get anything from this we need every man in lilywhite to deliver what they failed to in our last two games. They need to pay the fans back and also do themselves justice. I have faith in the team however predictions are out for this one. Derbies are reserved for the special ‘anything could happen’ category. It’s mid-week, under the lights, vociferous atmosphere in season defining games for both clubs. It should be special.

Bring on the Scum.

Bloody Predictable

Don't want to spend too much time talking about the semi-final. It hurt enough and having had to deal with a couple of Pompey mates at work didn't make my Monday any more enjoyable.

Honestly, I can't begrudge them their celebrations. Their commitment and loyalty to their club has been exemplary and they, along with the rest of the Pompey faithful, deserve what could be their last day out in the sun for some time. Congrats ladies and gentleman, sincerely. Hope you go on to smash the pikeys in the Final.

On the day we weren’t good enough. Simple as.

Avram Grant sussed out Redknapp's game plan and tactically bitch slapped him. The pitch by no means helped our passing game and we looked laboured in possession. Portsmouth were more than happy to allow us on to them and hit us on the break routinely carving out openings. If not for Piquionne’s poor finishing in front of goal and some imposing goalkeeping from Gomes we could have been out of it before extra time.

They frustrated us. Epic defending and resolute organisation had us all out of ideas other than ‘give it to Bale’. Long before the end of ninety minutes you could see the shoulders sagging, finger wagging and a general malaise creeping in. For all the advances we have made this season in resilience we still looked a team that lacked the mental strength to deal with the weight of being such heavy favourites. We were there for the taking long before the most depressing half hour of football I have ever witnessed.

Martin O'Neill has made a big song and dance over the injustices he has been dealt on his two trips to Wembley this season however our extra-time should put his issues into perspective.

For Pompey’s opener, much is being made of Wiley's decision to give a free kick in the first place. This much is true however that decision is completely irrelevant when you consider that Dawson would be making a routine clearance before the 'hallowed turf' of Wembley struck. Daws loses his footing, Piquionne nicks in, 1-0. Nothing anyone can do about that, no ones fault, pure misfortune.

What followed was just laughable. Bale makes a wonderfully penetrative run down the left and puts in a cracking ball. James makes a hash of a cross, clatters into Niko. Crouch puts in the loose ball. Nowt wrong with it yet Mr Wiley see's a foul that isn't there and James' face tells the story.

It wasn’t to be our day, fair enough leave it at that. Yet Wiley left with one parting shot. A Pompey break left Wilson one on one with Dindane. Sarge could have done better with it and not allowed his man to get in the box but he made up for it with a good, if not a little clumsy, challenge. He could be seen hooking his foot around the attacker and clearly getting the ball. Wiley, standing directly behind the attacker where he can’t possibly get a good view of the tackle, again see’s a foul that there isn’t. Surely his linesman would have had a clearer view but he failed to bother consulting him having already made up his mind. Couldn’t care less about the penalty however the yellow card that followed has now left us without Sarge for our two huge London derbies. Bother.

So out of the cup. Should feel a little hard done by but in reality didn’t really deserve it. Outfought on the pitch and outthought in the dugouts. It hurts but I can bet it doesn’t hurt half as much as being a Pompey fan this year. The club has deserved all it's got for it's piss poor mananagement but the fans are just innocent victims of it. I wish them all the best in the final and in the future.

Look Who's Running

Tottenham held an open training session at WHL which is not likely to be a hugely entertaining exhibition but I suppose it would be a good day out for some. I don't really go for these kind of gimmicks and see them as nothing but an easy money maker for the men up top whilst doing the players no favours whatsoever. Enough of their careers is spilled out in the public eye and they have expectations laid upon them every game they play, to add an audience for training seems excessive and possibly disruptive. Let the buggers have some time away from us for crying out loud.

Saying that I would have loved to have been at WHL to glimpse a sight for the sorest of Spurs (and Cappelo‘s) eyes. The sight of young Azza blud running again and taking part in training. Thus, I was left swooning over the little tyke at my desk at work. Sigh.

It goes without saying that we have missed Lennon this season. Prior to his injury the shaven eyebrowed one was in inspired form. Tearing defences to pieces, laying them on in the bucketload for Defoe and also pinging in a few late goals for himself.

Between the combined efforts of Kranjcar and Bentley they have provided able deputies in his stead, but the fact that neither of them have managed to hold on to his right wing place during his absence shows how inconsistent they can both be. That may seem an unfair criticism to lay at them both, especially Krankie who is our highest goalscoring midfielder since Poyet, but both have been on the receiving end of half time substitutions for indifferent performances and been guilty of insipid displays.

Mainly the big loss has been the vital commodity that Azza brings which is his pace and ability to beat defenders. Fortunately Bale has stepped up to offer some speed down the left however our right side looks horribly one paced, especially with Charlie at right back. Lennon and Corluka seem to have struck up a brilliant understanding on the right and hopefully the latter will not be out for much longer too as I’m aching to see them back together again.

Also the potentially mouth watering/pant wetting prospect of Bale and Lennon either wing is something to genuinely get excited about. A threat of their proportions from both flanks is equally orgasmic to us, as it is terrifying for any opponent. Tied into the return of JD to get on the end of their deliveries and Thudd whose going to have a field day with both of them to aim for, this could be the shot in the arm our fourth place challenge requires.

I wouldn’t imagine that Lennon would be risked for this weekends Semi-Final against Pompey but if we can get him fit enough to play a part in our next four league games then our chances of making CL will improve.

Without getting carried too away, this news is probably the best thing that could have happened. Now we just need the rest of our squad fit too...hmm

It's Grim Up North

Saturday afternoon at the Stadium of Light was not a pleasant place to be. Spurs often leave any remnants of confidence behind when travelling up north and this weekends game proved to be no different. Sporting a rather fetching photo negative of our home strip our boys prepared for battle in a wet and windy affair which was bound to test their resolve…and it took Sunderland and Barren Dent all of thirty-six seconds to see us crumble.

From the kick off our defence showed all the cohesion of velcro in conceding a typical Bent finish. With a back four of Walker, Kab, Bass, BAE, playing together for the first time and displaying a worrying lack of leadership without Daws, it was the worst possible start we could make. A combination of Sunderland flying from the off and jittery defending saw a corner conceded within ten seconds. Kyle Walker, making his second Premier League start, lost his man in the resulting set piece leaving Campbell with a free header in the box. Gomes done well to parry the shot away but you would expect better from him than to push it directly onto Bent’s toe.

Little Darren ran jubilantly across the Spurs fans celebrating with about as much class as can be expected from him. Giving the faithful a mouthy sign and feeling fully vindicated at getting his own back for anyone, anywhere, to ever have criticised him. It speaks volumes of his neediness and mental strength that he has so much ill feeling to a club he made a fortune out of whilst giving very little return in form and performances. One (admittedly ill advised) tongue in cheek comment from his manager should not affect a top level professional player in this way. I have no ill feeling towards Bent as a player and believe he offered as much as his limited ability could but as a person he lacks both the intellect and decency to be remembered for anything other than his inadequacies.

From then on in Sunderland bossed us, embarrassingly so. Although excuses can be made for all of our injury woes we were simply outplayed in all area’s of the field and it didn’t take long for Sunderland to be further rewarded. A Gomes save, again parried into a dangerous area bounced off the arm of Walker and the penalty was duly given. No arguments about the decision, the ball quite clearly hit his outstretched upper limb whether intentional or not. Up stepped Bent to score his second of the game, repeat celebration, needs to get over himself.

A strange pattern soon started to emerge as the game progressed. Sunderland were seemingly intent on attempting to win as many penalties as they could. Following an early farcical dive by Henderson in the opening exchanges another former Spur, Frazier Campbell, was practically horizontal before contact was made with Modric’s leg. In a scenario similar to Bent’s dive at WHL the official once again gave a penalty. Bent stepped up again, first half hat-trick tangible, picturing the headlines and Harry’s face, only for Gomes to ruin the moment and swipe his effort wide of the post.

First half finished with no-one leaving the field having done themselves justice. We had moments of laboured possession but showed little intent throughout. Without Dawson our defence is powderpuff, Kab and Bassong lack authority, BAE must have still been deciding what music he wants to listen to, Modric is not a central midfielder away from home, Bentley frustrated, Pav and Eidur looked tired and the whole thing was a sad, sorry mess. Redknapp tried a repeat of Fulham by making two half time changes. Off went Bentley for Krancjar and Ekotto for Defoe with Bale and Modric moving to their traditional positions and Eidur slotting in the middle.

Second half though, proved no better. Sunderland beat us to everything, passed more fluidly, won the midfield battle with Cattermole and Meyler, and in Malbranque and Henderson had the beating of us in the wide areas. Our attack provided no real danger and Gordon was untroubled for very little of the game. However our major concern lay in our defence.

Again we got caught out down the right and Meyler, needing very little encouragement, fell over in the area, penalty number three given. Bent stepping up again, Gomes saving again and the picture of confusion etched on his face proved a wonderfully cathartic moment. Our opposition were awarded more penalties in ninety minutes than we have been awarded in the league all season. A conspiracy…or maybe do we need to be a little more ‘continental’ when in the box? Doesn’t really make a difference, we can’t score the ruddy things anyway.

Crouch came on, scored a goal which should have been disallowed for an illegal jump, and a feeling of hope flickered. Playing badly and getting points is the stuff of champions. We had indeed played very badly and ridden our luck but a point could be up for grabs. A little injection of promise came and eventually fizzled out but some further highlights did occur before the final whistle.

Kenwyne Jones came off the bench to supply possibly the finest airshot seen for some times, the crap Ferdinand brother’s gay jig for his disallowed goal was a moment to smile about and Zenden’s sumptuous volley provided the only moments of genuine interest left in the game.

That sinking feeling seems to be reverberating around N17 with this performance and woefully threadbare squad going into the April gauntlet. Many have rubbished any ideas of CL football but Sunderland showed us that you can play awful away from home one week before mustering up a brilliant performance at home the next.

We still control our league position with a game against City still to play however we must drastically improve whilst also bring bodies back into the squad. This team had won five games on the bounce prior to this. The challenge is very much alive, don’t lose faith, it‘s still within our grasp, believe...and all that jazz.

Second String Mk.3 - Away

Former Spurs players move in packs and end up reuniting at different clubs. We have recently played, and beat, two of our former reserve teams in Fulham and Pompey (albeit we bought half of them back from the south). Next up is the northern branch of Spurs' hand me downs who don the red and white stripes of Wearside. Ex-Spurs players currently in the Sunderland squad include Fulop, (Soon to be ex) Hutton, Steed, Reid, Campbell and Bent.

Rumours are also circulating that Sunderland are looking to increase their Spurs contingent and recent reports have stated that Bruce is after the likes of Bentley and O'Hara in one of those 'Multi-pack' deals they are so fond of. Levy must love it when Niall Quinn calls him up as invariably he knows the Irishman is more than willing to part with his cash for our cast offs. God can only hope that they don't wise up to the fact that we're selling them players we don't need anymore because they are not good enough as opposed to being drawn to the northern lights and loose birds. Can't see Bentley and O'Hara leaving but a double swoop for Keane and Jenas in the summer may not be too wide off the mark.

Anyhoo, moving onto more pressing matters than Sunderland’s interesting recruitment policy there's a game coming up. A massively important game.

The Stadium of Light is never a nice place to go to and often our southern softies have gone all a little limp when coming up against them in previous seasons. I can't remember the last time we went to Sunderland and got a result, however we need to push that mentality to one side. Past form needs to be forgotten.

This game must be plonked into the 'must win' category. If we are going to be staking a serious claim for Champions League then we need three points. City have just as tough a run in as us and we play them to decide our fate however it's Liverpoo’ giving me this chilling feeling of a sweaty Benetiz's hot breath and goatee bristle on the back of my neck. We need to re-affirm our distance from the scouser’s and establish the seven point gap we previously held over them. That alongside our goal advantage should keep the scouse bastards at arms length during our difficult April.

Sunderland do worry me though. Not a panicked worry, more a niggle that with so many former players they're bound to have 'one of those games'. Also Craig Gordon has been in good form and we're overdue a world class performance from a distinctly average goalkeeper.

My unnerving paranoia aside, we shouldn't feel too apprehensive over the quality of our opponents. They looked a team whose season was up at Anfield and hopefully they will provide the same 'roll over and tickle our bellies' performance for us. Obviously home advantage should see more urgency from the Black Cats however if we impose ourselves early and get an early goal we should be safe.

Bent will be the main threat, purely based on that he badly, badly, BADLY wants to score against Harry. If he somehow manages to shin one in his celebrations and subsequent Twitter posts of absolution will be unbearable. I can picture him running up to Harry full pelt and booting a pre-prepared life size cardboard cut out of Sandra Harry's face. It speaks volumes of Bents needs recognition that he’s better than a middle aged woman so hopefully the desperation will see him fluff his lines again. Wouldn't mind seeing another penalty save from Gomes...mmm.

Awesome Dawson has been passed fit and JD has been pencilled in to make his return. It's been a quiet week and no more of our players managed to break down over the course of the week. This may be because we’ve got a handle on the injury crisis and we should see more players returning. More likely it's because last weekends game against Pompey proved to be little more strenuous than a leisurely stroll. Hopefully we can get more players back and available for the challenges that await in April.

Either blind faith or genuine belief see's me predicting a sixth straight win for Spurs in what I'd imagine will be a tight game. Sunderlands home form is good but we have the quality to beat them. Lose this and we put pressure on ourselves, win and the pressure cranks up for Pool and City. We can’t afford to show any weakness. We need to show we have the quality to do this.

Christ I’m getting jittery