How Do You Like Them (Toffee) Apple's

A game of two halves is a rather apt description as to the showing at WHL this afternoon

Following on from Man City's win at Chelsea our game at Everton could only be marked as another 'must win' in our race for fourth. Mixed emotions followed the drama at Stamford Bridge yesterday. Whilst the last thing we need is City picking up points they are expected to lose, watching Chelsea self-destruct has to be one of the most entertaining sights around in world football.

Team Bridge superseded Team Terry after the biggest build up to an arbitrary handshake had Richard Keys practically pooing himself in anticipation. The fact Bridge snubbed Terry's lacklustre hand didn't come as much as a surprise but the slow motion replays showed Sky's prerogative in the shit-stirring business. Whilst Bridge would have probably preferred stamping on Terry's syphilitic dangly bits, nicking three points off his team and their pikey fans (booing a man for being cheated on is just uncalled for) must certainly have been delicious.

So our job for today was simple...win

When settling into our early kick off nursing what can only be described as a monumental hangover, my expectations were of a long ninety minutes ahead. Everton are never an easy opponent so I wasn't getting too carried away

It may have been the medicinal beer I introduced at kick off but things seemed to be going rather well. Tottenham's sublime football from the off saw my disposition turn from deathly pallid to just a little squiffy.


With neat, slick one touch passing and a complete lack of the dreaded long ball Everton seemed to carry their Europa League hangover into N17. Modric revelled in the space afforded to him and the Toffee's had no idea how to deal with him.

Our first was probably the ugliest of the half, if you can call Huddlestone's perfectly directed ball, Defoe's brilliant take and Super Pav's anticipation ugly. We exhibited exactly how direct football should be played.

If Modric wasn't causing them too much trouble our two other Croatian’s on our right hand side took care of that. All were in inspired form pulling Everton all out of shape with deft touches and clever movement all displayed in our sexual second goal. Modric making mockery of any fan saying the little genius can't shoot with an outstanding dinked finish in of the underside of the bar.

Half time came, comfortably leading, playing well, all seemed well and good. Even changed channel at half time to catch up with forgotten son Robbie Keane such was my sunny disposition. Scottish football really is cack so went and made a sandwich instead. It was delicious.

Although 2-0 lead against Everton had an ominous ring to it, everything seemed to be going well so these feelings washed over me with expectations of continued dominance of possession and beautiful football. Also it may be denial, years of supporting Spurs I really should know better by now.

With Hudd getting injured early in the second half saw the swagger leave the pitch with him. Panic and uncertainty ensued conceding possession on numerous occasions probably highlights Huddlestone's growing importance to the team. Hoping the injury doesn't keep him out for too long.

Gomes wasn't having the best of days with crosses and set pieces which saw Everton score a mess of one. Yakubu poking one in after a catalogue of errors. Our formerly derided keeper has been outstanding for us this season so off games like today’s should be anticipated as with any other keeper. Commentator's ludicrously bringing up his previous form without acknowledging the consistency he has proved shows how blinkered and pointless their views are.

Second half held very few highlights and was watched more through my fingers, than enjoyed especially when Donovan showed how American's really play soccerball by missing a sitter, however Spurs emerged victorious on a day when they usually would have dropped points. Dawson's dominance at the back in no small way helped us over the finish line.

A good three points should douse any outside shot of Everton pipping fourth and see's us with back to back wins. More of these going into April will only see our confidence flourish. However allowing them back into the match so willingly highlights continuing weakness of our mentality and must improve if we are to grasp Champions League football.

In other news a ref bottled it in a cup final involving United...no surprises there and best wishes to Aaron Ramsey. Whatever the shirt a young player is wearing doesn't matter when it comes to a hideous injury such as his. I wish him all the best and hope the vastly gifted Welshman makes a speedy recovery

Peace

Mystery Signing's Dream Debut

I didn't know we bought a striker in the window. Seems we have signed Man Utd's second top scorer, Own Goal who scored two of our fours goals against a lacklustre Bolton side.

You usually know what to expect from Bolton. Eleven players of limited calibre, albeit with a lot of fight in them, who are never going to make it easy for our more cultured, softer players. Owen Coyle rested some of the 'extra limited' players and replaced them with 'regular limited' but you would still expect some fight from them.

It seems though Bolton not only rested players but also their heart and their balls. A limp performance from them put paid to their FA cup chances leaving them to concentrate on maintaining their top flight status. If performances don't improve from this one I would be very much worried for them.

Our victory was not purely down to our opponents ineptitude but also to us being very good on the day. A couple of changes left us with the expected Pav-JD strikeforce and Benny making his return to the first team deputising at right back.

Obviously with the lack of a 6'7 gentleman up top saw us play neater possession football which destroyed Bolton's rigid format. I have always defended Crouchinho, seeing him as an honest lad whose talents are often overlooked down to his bizarre appearance. However if this is how we play without him then his exclusion is on merit as opposed to popular demand from fans. Dawson's distribution was nice today with him and Bassong feeding the ball simply to the midfield as opposed to hoofing aimlessly.

Our domination of the midfield battle was too easy. These games are made for Hudd where he is able to establish time for himself, dictate tempo, switch play with astounding accuracy and generally own the midfield. However these games suit him, I remember a similar performance against West Ham earlier in the season only for him to bend over to the scousers at Anfield where he was not gifted such time and space. Hopefully he can follow up this performance with a similar one against the blue half of Merseyside on Sunday on what will be a vastly more intimidating showdown.

Bale was awesome...again...enough said. Benny simply has to perform miracles if he is to get ahead of him at left back. Back from injury and looking remarkaly like Snoop Dogg with his new facial fuzz (Bentley's poorly judged hobo look must have caused an impression) he had a relatively easy night in an unfamiliar position. Was good to see him return to action and will be interesting to see how Bale handles the added pressure of competition for his place.

Headlines will go to Pav with him scoring another brace, well and truly mugging Zat Knight for both. Two well taken clinical finishes yet Harry still failed to raise a smile but I don't care. Pav's upturn in form is similar to that of an angry Bobby Zamora and as long as Harry gives Super Pav a point to prove the better he seems to be. Gudjohnson also got a run out and looked good and even had a seemingly legit goal disallowed.

The fact we ended up with two left sided players on our right hand side shows how weak Bolton were on the day, but we dispatched them with the same worrying professionalism shown against Wigan. Surely we can't maintain such sensible performances... Everton on Sunday is massive but games like this must have done wonders for our confidence and a trip to Craven Cottage in a fortnight should be a cracker

Dare I say were on the way to Wembley??

Black Eye's, Groin Strain's & Penalty Practice

My day started rather well today with the delightful news of Jamie O doing Spurs proud by decking former Spurs man and epitome of mediocrity Michael Brown. Apparently dear Mikey got a little frustrated in training and was flying in with a few reckless challenges. JOH must have had a Dalmat flashback and showed him how to do things Stephane Styli

Looking at this mug makes me feel warm inside knowing he's got a black eye and the man who gave it to him is probably throwing it in Danielle Lloyd at this very moment. God bless Jamie O'Hara, a proper Yiddo.

A tackle that has had me worried today is the news that lickle Azza blud and his go-fast eyebrows are still no closer to reaching White Hart Lane after an apparent groin tweak in training. I'd love to see Lennon back as soon as possible to aid our push for fourth but would want to take every precaution not to cause him any further damage by rushing him back too soon.

Although Bentley has stepped up competently if not emphatically Lennon's speed has been badly missed. I will continue to support Bentley but his lack of pace seems to exacerbate the lack of penetration in our midfield. With Bale in inspired form down the left, our right hand currently looks pedestrian in comparison.

Probably the best news of today is that we have been practicing penalties in preparation for our FA Cup tie with Bolton tomorrow. In a typically English way we wait until we miss a bucketload of penalties until we realise that practicing them might help us score them. Inspired work from our coaching staff...

I don't think that the tie will reach penaltys tomorrow night. With reports saying a second string Bolton side will be turning up in N17 tomorrow night with a relegation battle being priority I fancy us to turn them over in 120mins. If we don’t at least we are prepared...

Anger Management

'Can't Smile Without You' has been designed as a pre-emptive solution to the obvious frustrations we as fans of Tottenham Hotspur are going to be feeling in the run up in this intriguing battle for fourth.

I am trying to be pro-active in curtailing my bemusement at our beloved club and hopefully try to make sense of it all by being more productive then drinking excessively and sulking alone in the dark.

Although I am pessimistic over our chances of sneaking into the final CL spot as long as it's mathematically possible I will still support and believe we as a club have the chance of making it.

I expect we will throw away points in games we dominate...however so will all our rivals. I expect us to continually underachieve against the big boys but Liverpool and City are playing awful football at the moment. Villa have had their off days all too often this season also.

The battle for fourth will not be exciting, nor enthralling. It will be irritating. Irritating to all involved because Pool, City, Villa and ourselves are all in with a chance yet none of us have been able to pull away despite each clubs poor patches of form.

In the end the winner will be who was shit the least as opposed to who was the best. The prize being the opportunity to go toe to toe with some of the best in Europe.

Join me in trying not to get too frustrated!